Family tree

Sigh~ Family... It has been rather a turmoil time for everyone i guess..
Mom said I don't call back often enough and when I called there's always something I need and when she called I'll be very impatient. Oh well, I dunno.. maybe what she said is true..
I don't know what to talk bout when i call back and not very keen to talk bout work stuff. The thing is work has already consumed 3/4 of my life and talking bout it doesn't relieve the increasing stress. I'm used to solving my own problem and digging my way out of emotional problems. I appreciate mom's relentless effort to give us a hand in other problem. I seriously do. Maybe u r mad coz I doesn't seems to care. But i miss home terribly. I miss those time that we go to office n helping u do those miscellaneous stuff. I miss those time we just stay at home and watch tv. I even miss those time u get pissed coz we r so freaking lazy to get things done. I just wanted to go home and spend time with u all.
But sometimes when I'm too caught up with this new arena, it just didn't occur to me that u want to know wassup with us.

Sigh~ I'm tired already walking alone. Maybe it's not a bad idea after all to lean on someone.

Here am I

Here am I sitting in front of the comp terminal, looking at my patient, who knows when will she try to remove the tube when she thought that i am not looking. I know I know it's improper, unethical, unprofessional to blog at work. But hey, this is multitasking!

So yours truly celebrated her 21st Birthday recently. Friends asked " How does it feels to be 21?". Actually I didn't really feel any difference from being 20. But of coz being 21 gains alot more legal freedom. I can sign my own consent, apply for credit card, apply for loan, do whatever I like to do.. well, not that I can't do whatever I want to do when I'm 20 but it's just that you don't parents to sign all those legal stuff when u want to for eg apply for credit card, see? Hehs~

Haven't been having that kind of feeling for quite some time now. The feeling towards another person, I thought it has long drained from me. Well, it's there now. I didn't know it's good or bad because I seriously doubt myself. I didn't know what to do and I doesn't want to get hurt. Too bad I'm those kind of person who's afraid of failure, afraid of being hurt. Not bcoz I am a coward but I'm afraid I'll never be able to stand up again.

Time for work. =)

Feeling ridiculous

Sigh~ Where am i all these while when friends are in trouble? When ppl whom i cared are in need? What have become of me? It has been rather lonely after the beginning of work life. Our schedules are all clashing. Besides, I don't have much friends here outside the circle of those who shared the same passion as me.

I've lost myself in me. In the midst of beginning of a new league, I'm lost.

Jac called the other day. And again, like a cold bucket of water splashes on me, the reality that it seems I no longer cared for those that are dearest to me. I guess things just kind of drifted apart for us. It's tough when we are living in different world.

Well, perhaps amongst the gloom, the up part should be that I'm coping ok in work. Overworked but hey, who doesn't go through hell at the beginning, right?

But then again, it's ridiculous.