Everytime i'm back, it's a good slap back to reality of actually every family has their own problems. Problems anyone outside the family may understand but not able to emphatise. Sometimes not even 'insider'.
Everytime i'm back, i'll have the same dilemma but the dilemma this time comes with a big kickass 'S'. So, it's dilemmaS not just dilemma. I really don't know what to do and simply just ignore and pretend and just carry on. The world won't stop just because one person is torn in between.
The feeling sucks. The decision-making sucks. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. The future doesn't seems that bright anymore.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 02, 2009
Hello 2009!
2009! wait.. 2009 already? what happened to '08? it came and went in a blur.
But.. wait... actually come to think of it, 2008 is quite a meaningful and memorable year.
For some reason, didn't come up with resolutions last yr.. well it's not a bad thing coz according to this British mental health charity Mind, "urged people not to make resolutions focusing on physical imperfections -- such as attempting to lose weight -- because they create a negative self image and lead to feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness and even mild depression."
Hahaha.. so much for new year resolution... actually it's up to that individual on how they define whether the resolution is achieved. For example, losing weight.. to you lose 10kg = lose weight but to me lose 1kg.. ok lar maybe 1 pound = lose weight = resolution achieved.
Looking back, 2008 started with a blast coz i remember vividly that i was outside partying with evi at powerhouse which marked the beginning of countless drinking session that i am starting to think that i've become an alcoholic. Soon after NY, i past my probabation and became a permanent staff.
Then, came CNY '08 with more booze, food and gamble.. and of coz catching up with old friends. Actually it's more of looking at how everyone has change over the past one yr.. hehe
After that, came the period when everything is a blur, no recollection of anything special.. just work and work.. perhaps some play in between.
Till mid year, dilemma came to say hi.. dilemma said "U'll have to choose between family and career".. I chose family, went back for couple of weeks and became the most meaningful moment in my life. I held my grandma's hand at her last moment of life and actually saw her eyes turned glossy. I cried like hell in the toilet. It took me some time to accept the fact that she's gone forever and I do miss her. I was just playing mahjong with her few days before she fell sick and everything went downhill since. Destiny...
Came back to sg, shifted and start working again.. the last quarter of 2008 was, in summary, spent working, getting to know colleagues more personally, attending classes, more partying and drinking session. Of coz the end of 2008 and the start of 2009 was spent at our current fave hangout place - Boiler Room. Great night, great company, great song, not-so-great crowd. I get to countdown with my babe, Giean, after not celebrating together for 2 yrs.
But.. wait... actually come to think of it, 2008 is quite a meaningful and memorable year.
For some reason, didn't come up with resolutions last yr.. well it's not a bad thing coz according to this British mental health charity Mind, "urged people not to make resolutions focusing on physical imperfections -- such as attempting to lose weight -- because they create a negative self image and lead to feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness and even mild depression."
Hahaha.. so much for new year resolution... actually it's up to that individual on how they define whether the resolution is achieved. For example, losing weight.. to you lose 10kg = lose weight but to me lose 1kg.. ok lar maybe 1 pound = lose weight = resolution achieved.
Looking back, 2008 started with a blast coz i remember vividly that i was outside partying with evi at powerhouse which marked the beginning of countless drinking session that i am starting to think that i've become an alcoholic. Soon after NY, i past my probabation and became a permanent staff.
Then, came CNY '08 with more booze, food and gamble.. and of coz catching up with old friends. Actually it's more of looking at how everyone has change over the past one yr.. hehe
After that, came the period when everything is a blur, no recollection of anything special.. just work and work.. perhaps some play in between.
Till mid year, dilemma came to say hi.. dilemma said "U'll have to choose between family and career".. I chose family, went back for couple of weeks and became the most meaningful moment in my life. I held my grandma's hand at her last moment of life and actually saw her eyes turned glossy. I cried like hell in the toilet. It took me some time to accept the fact that she's gone forever and I do miss her. I was just playing mahjong with her few days before she fell sick and everything went downhill since. Destiny...
Came back to sg, shifted and start working again.. the last quarter of 2008 was, in summary, spent working, getting to know colleagues more personally, attending classes, more partying and drinking session. Of coz the end of 2008 and the start of 2009 was spent at our current fave hangout place - Boiler Room. Great night, great company, great song, not-so-great crowd. I get to countdown with my babe, Giean, after not celebrating together for 2 yrs.
:: Giean, me and my glowing stick ::
Happy New Year!!
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